Who's The Daddy?
by Moonlight Eyes
Summary: A certain 5th year Gryffindor has landed herself in a spot of trouble. And it cries, sleeps and wants food all the time. Now all she has to do is work out who the dad is! AU written prior to 5th book.
1. Chapter 1 Sick, Snape and Sirius

_A/N: This is my first story please be kind. _

_Disclaimer: NOT MINE! OK, BACK OFF ALL YOU LAYWER TYPE PEOPLE! NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OUT OF THIS!

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"Hermione wake up, you'll be late for class and you just missed breakfast!" Ginny yelled down Hermione's ear. As a good friend, Ginny pushed her out of bed and all you could see was this thing running around the room getting changed. At last, Hermione got to Snape's room and was welcomed with

"Miss Granger, you are late- just sit down." So she found her place next to Harry and Ron. As Snape was talking to the class, Ron kept asking questions.

"Where have you been? What hve you been doing? Why is your cloak the wrong way round?" and so on. As he was asking these questions, Hermione reached forward and grabbed her tummy. Hermione put her hand up to tell Snape she was going to be sick when

"Now do any of you know the answer?" Snape turned round "Not you Miss Granger, how about – ah yes, Mr. Longbottom?" As he said that, she stood up and yelled.

"NO SIR, I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO BE SICK!"

And out came the sick.

"Go to the Hospital Wing Miss Granger. Miss Weasley, go with her in case it happens again." Snape said, looking unconcerned. Everyone stared at each other, wondering what had happened to Hermione.

"Mr Longbottom, answer the question." Snape said acting like nothing had happened. Harry, being an idiot, got some of the sick and threw it at Snape. It hit his greasy black hair.

"Sorry Sir." He said while laughing. " I meant to hit Crabbe!" And so Snape turned around.

"Yes Potter, I really believe you, since Crabbe is on the other side of the room. You're as gay as your Godfather!" Then he stopped. Harry yelled.

"YAY! I'm happy, I'm gay!" Ron shook his head and put it on the table, saying

"I don't know him, I don't know him, no not at all, definitely don't know him."

Harry sat there being as quiet as a mouse, well not really but anyway for the rest of the lesson no one dared to talk. At the end, Harry and Ron were whispering to each other and they didn't realize the next class had come in and sat down. They looked up and there was Snape giving them the most evil look they had ever received and out they rushed.

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_A/N: So, did you enjoy it? By the way, I do think Harry's godfather is gay (and Harry- but not together 'coz that's sick.) That's only chapter one, there is more, but I want at least 5 reviews before I put the next one on.:)_


	2. Chapter 2 Sick, Screaming and Babybels

_A/N : This is Moonlight Eye's cousin, Eponine, uploading for her. Moonlight, you have to save your documents in Microsoft WORD otherwise it won't work. Anyway, carry on reading and reviewing! _

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE! (Or Moonlight's for that matter.)

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"Are you sure you want to go back?" Ginny was asking Hermione as they were on their way to next class. Well they hadn't got that far yet they were just outside the medical wing! Hermione threw her hair round and stared at Ginny

"Yes I'm sure I've already missed half of my first lesson and I don't want to miss anymore! Is that alright with YOU?" Hermione threw her hair back and turned around. Ginny didn't dare to talk again because of what she had just seen! She had never seen Hermione like this before! Ginny was thinking _she's probably on, well why else would she be moody?_

"Ah! Hermione, Ginny find your brooms. Oh and Hermione if you want to be sick go to the bushes please! Then I don't have to clear it up, thank you!" Hermione nodded and went to her broom. When everyone was in the air and was flying. Hermione was trying to catch up with Ron and when she did she told him in a small voice so no one could hear …

"_Ron I'm p-pregnant and well…" _Hermione didn't finish because her broom slowed down. But guess what? Harry heard every single word because he's a nosey little Gaylord, no surprise there. So guess what he said next…

"Hermione's pregnant? Who's the dad?" Everyone turned and looked at Harry, Ron and Hermione! Hermione lent forward again and this time yellowy orangey sick came out onto Crabbe! Poor Crabbe!

Later that day after tea Hermione was in the girls loo's with pen and paper in her hand and writing down stuff. On the paper it said 'Boys had a relation ship with in the last few weeks - Ron, Ron, RON!' and at the bottom 'Baby names. Boys- Harry, Fred, George, William, Bob, David, Luke.' Then 'Girls- Crystal, Rose, Lily, Joey.' Hermione was so busy writing she didn't notice that Ron had come in and was looking at the piece of paper over her shoulder!

"So the baby's mine then?" Ron asked as Hermione turned round and fell back onto the hard floor!

"Ouch don't do that again! Next time let me know you're there and yes I think the baby is yours!_ I think!_" Hermione said the last bit so quiet that Ron didn't hear… so Ron went out of the girls loo's and started screaming ,well singing to the whole world…

"I'm a daddy, who's the daddy? I'm the daddy, who's the daddy? Me Me Me!" Ron got over excited and started dancing as well but then there was a screaming noise coming from Harry's mouth! Well he thought it was a screaming competition! But while he was doing this Hermione and Ron thought he was screaming about the fact that Ron was the dad! So they ran through the hallways following the sound and when they reached him Ron went up and said

"I'm not the dad its just … a song I made up do you like it?" Then Hermione came up

"He's not the dad its just a song we made up and he got carried away!"

"What I'm not the fath…" He didn't get to finish because Hermione kicked him on the foot, well meaning shut up BOY.

"HAYHAY! Nice kick Hermione! What's going on here?" Fred and George said coming out from nowhere.

"Go away you're not needed here go somewhere and find people who care! So just get out of my sight! OK!" Ron said acting like his father!

"Yes Sir!" they said together as they marched away! I don't know if anyone realised but Hermione and Fred were looking at each other, not in a bad way! As they went Harry stopped screaming and turned to Ron.

"What do I get for being the highest?" Ron and Hermione were confused but Ron spoke out and said

"A baby …bell! Yes that's it's a Babybel!" He replied as babies were the only things on his mind!

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_A/N: Did you enjoy? Tell us! And Moonlight wants at least 5 reviews before she uploads again. So if you like it, you have to click on the purple button... purple button... purple-I'll stop now... bye. _


	3. Chapter 3 sreaming, falling and biting

A/N: Thanks Eponine I can do it now yay hehehe! Just keep on reading and if you don't like it tell me why I'm not going to kill you, well I might, but anyway read and review thanks

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"Hermione wake up your in on the floor!" then Ron added "Near my bed with my covers!" Everyone woke up as Ron said that Harry, the bed nearest to Ron said

"Hermione you're fat or is someone else there!" Everyone and Hermione looked down and the Hermione said still looking down!

"No Harry Ron is there and I'm not fat I'm pregnant ok"

"Yeah sure… ok I get it now!" Harry said not meaning it as everyone noticed that Hermione was pregnant and Colin there taking pictures! But then he went out cause Hermione screamed at him. Everyone looked at her and she took a second look down and thought _no this cant be I'm dreaming pinch me someone please! Ok relax so it doesn't look 3 week it probably 3 months._

"Joy!" Hermione said not thinking this time but hey this is Hermione she says random stuff doesn't she?

As all this was going on Neville was walking backwards. He would of walked in to Fred and George but they moved out the way, then he would of walked into the wall, but that moved out the way, I mean Fred and George moved him so he went in the direction of the window then he walk well fell out the window because it was open, poor Neville!

"I'm going to kill them twins! Ahhhhhhh! Help!" Neville said while falling, and while everyone was looking well Fred and George had sneaked out. Thankfully a big, tall, fat, hairy thing that looked a bit like… oops sorry Hagrid! Everyone looked out more to look…

"Does anyone know what that thing Hagrid is holding it looks like it has teeth? Ouch it does!" Ron croaked

Everyone move away from the window as they heard "Ahhhhhhh ouch! Hagrid what is that thing that's eating my bum! Ouch what is that? Get it off me!"

"Ok then" So Hagrid throw Neville back up saying "Move fatty coming up!"

"I'm not!" When he came though the window everyone but Hermione went to see if he was ok! Hermione went to see if the baby was 3 weeks and to see if it was just one not twins? She didn't get far until Ron came over and asked…

"Hermione where u going?"

"To the medical wing do u think this looks like 3 weeks to you?"

"No but…"

"See that's why I'm going to see if it is or not ok!" Hermione turned back and started to leave when Ron grabbed her hand so she turned round and he reached closer as they kissed each other…

"Hermione I love you remember that!"

"Love u to Ronald and I'll be fine I'll talk to you later ok?"

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A/N Did you like it? I enjoyed writing it and my mates enjoyed reading it! Oh by the way Eponine it's not purple it's the blue button press it to review bye xx


	4. Chapter 4 sick,mad and honey

here's for everyone who wanted me to update!

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"Hermione we've found out that your not 3 weeks your… 6 months. We had a mix up with your scan and another. Oh and its twins as well sorry we didn't tell you at your first scan. And Ginny is waiting out side do you want me to send her in?" the nurse said as she stood for an answer.

"Oh my god 6 months help no! Ok Hermione breathe in… and out. I'm going mad already help me Hermione I'm talking to my self. Send Ginny in please I need her." Hermione said crabbing the covers.

"What's up with you?"

"I'm going mad help me, the baby isn't a baby its babies and there 6 months! 6 MONTHS! Ok 6 months ago was the party right?"

"Yes"

"Ok then oh no please no!"

"What?"

"Well I didn't really want to tell anyone this but." Hermione stopped and look around "Ok you promise that u won't tell anyone else?"

"Yes!"

"At the party I… _I kind of slept with crabbe!"_

"WHAT?" Ginny yelled as everyone turn round and look!

"_You heard me! Now I'm going to find Ron. Ok?" _

"Yeah ok!" she said with a big grin on her face!

"Oh and thanks Gin!"

She walked out the door and ran down the corridor. But then she bumped into daddy oh sorry I meant Crabbe! She tried to get away as he said…

"Hi Hermione how's the baby?"

"Oh hi honey… I mean Crabbe! You're the… you look nice. Sorry got to go bye!"

Ok Hermione is mad or there's something she isn't telling us. Anyway she turned the corner and guess who it is? Well its Ron and something on the floor… oh its Harry. Sorry Harry! Ron was standing there trying to pull Harry by the hood.

Hermione stood there with one hand on her hip and leaning to the side and said in a calm voice.

"What's he done this time?"

"You don't want to know!" Ron said actually meaning it!

"Ok then try me!"

"Well… he just through up on Cho, asked snape to kiss him, fainted on ME, jumped in the pond and guess who had to get him, ran into the wall and if that's not enough while I was at the toilet he stood at the window naked!"

Hermione's hand fell and so did her mouth! And then she said just to make a laugh out of it…

"Ok what's he on again?"

"No this is Harry we talking about!"

"Yeah true. Anyway did you see his di…?" Hermione said trying not to laugh!

"The whole school saw it ask someone else!" he said trying to get the image out of his head.

"Ok ok I was just asking. Anyway we need to get him up to the common room oh and I need to talk to you later ok!" Hermione bit her lip, as she didn't want to tell Ron about Crabbe

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.hope you enjoyed it please review and tell me if you hate it or not! the next chapter might be a while cause i'm doing another story! 


	5. Chapter 5 twins, kissing and camera

_A/N i know that most of the people who have read my story doesnt like it well give me another chance and take a look at this capture_

_Disclaimer: NOT MINE! OK, BACK OFF ALL YOU LAYWER TYPE PEOPLE! NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OUT OF THIS!_

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"Do you think she'll be alright?"

"I don't know Ginny, I just don't know!" Ron said giving her little sister a hug.

"Do you think she's going to die?"

"Harry" Ginny and Ron both shouted at the same time, "Don't be so mean!" Ginny carried on.

"Sorry"

Everyone looked down at Hermione, who was in the bed in the hospital wing. Everyone had been there for about an hour now, waiting for Hermione to wake up! She had fainted on the moving stairs, when she was trying to pull Harry up them. Hermione's eyes slowly open and pushed her self up.

"What am I doing here? Am I dead?"

"What we're all dead? AHHH help I'm dead!"

"Harry SHUT UP OK?" Ginny said while slapping him!

"No Hermione your fine! You just fainted that's all but Ron saved the day and brought you up here!" Ginny said while Hermione turn to look at Ron, who was feeling quit please with him self and had is hands on his hips! In Ron's surprise Hermione reached for his had and squished his hand with a pain look on her face!

"Help…I…think…I'm…in…labour…!" Hermione said while gasping for breath.

Ginny called the nurse over and Ron stood there biting his lip and with a red hand that Hermione was holding! Well Harry had walked off somewhere, so Ginny look out the door cause he couldn't have gone far! As she was looking out side two faces popped in. Hermione looked over and shoot back!

"I hate you to! Go somewhere where you're wanted!" Hermione shouted across the room.

"We love you to!" Fred and George both giggled at each other as Harry walk though the door.

"Miss granger the first baby is a baby boy," the nurse said putting the baby in Hermione's arms. And then she added on a minute later, "the second one is a baby girl." Hermione sat there with tears coming from her face and two beautiful babies in her hands.

The to two twins came in the room and they both sat down looking at the babies faces. Ron was to busy looking at the babies he didn't notice that Ginny had walked over the Harry and was sitting on his lap kissing him.

"Hermione do you think there might be a chance that I'm the dad of the babies cause about 9 mouths ago…" Fred stopped cause he could see that Ron was just about the blow!

"Is there something your not telling me Hermione?" Ron shouted and carried on "And will you two over their stop kiss, Ginny get off his lap!"

"Ron ok I'll say it! I was in such a stated I didn't know who was the dad, first of all I didn't know how many weeks/ mouths the babies were, I didn't even know if it was twins or not how was I meant to know who the dad was hey? So yeah I have got something to say to you just now when Fred said that I just realised that he was the dad I didn't think of that before! And Ron for once let your sister do what she wants if it means her sitting on Harry's lap kissing him, for gods sake let her do what she wants it is a free world!" Everyone was in shock that Hermione just let everything out by shout at Ron. Well everyone but Harry.

"_I'm dead, we're all dead and I'm going to have sex with Ron's sister!" _Harry sang while skipping round the room. Fred and George sat there giggling waiting to hear what Ron shouts next!

"No Harry you're not going to have sex with my sister," Ron stop for a while then carried on "Not until she's 16!"

"Changing the subject, Hermione what are you going to call the babies?" Ginny asked while Harry came over to her and sat on her lap.

"I think the I'm going to call the girl…" she didn't have the chance to finish her sentence because Harry butted in "Harriett like me, and will die like me! Hehehe!"

"No Jane" Ginny yelled

"No Cow!" yelled Fred and George.

"Oi I'm telling mum now"

"No Penelope!" Yelled Hermione over the top of everyone

"Err that's Percy's girlfriends name!"

"Fine then what about Crystal?" Hermione asked and everyone nodded there heads and agreed with the name!

"But what about the boy?" Ron asked

"Luke!" Hermione said

"YAY! Luke Skywalker die die! Hehehe!"

Harry stood up, and started acting like Darth Vader. He got a stick out of nowhere and used it for a light-saver! He pointed the stick at baby Luke and said

"LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER!"

Everyone looked from Harry to Hermione; just at that moment Colin came in with his camera and started to talk some pictures.

"NO! Harry's not the father Fred is!" Hermione yelled. After she had yelled that loads of faces popped though the door.

_Click, click, click _Colin was talking pictures of Ron and Ginny looking shocked, George looking confused, Fred and Hermione with the babies and Harry looking like a total idiot!

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_A/N i hope you did like it and i hope you people who hated it have change your mind! well not everyone will like it cause we are all different_


	6. Fatbums, kicking and kids

A/N: sorry its been along time since I've updated. But here you go all the people who have been waiting for me to update.

_This chapter is ten years later. So things are different. I'm not saying anymore apart from read it and I hope you enjoy it._

_**DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE! I'M NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OK!!**_

"Wow mum was uncle Harry really a idiot back then?" Luke asked, checking to see if Harry was around.

"He was more than a idiot Luke!" Ron laughed under his breath.

"Did he have a big…" Crystal stop looked around and whispered, trying not to laugh " D…Dick?"

"Crystal no bad language ok! You don't catch me using that type of language!"

"Whatever you Fred!" Hermione said as she watched him walk on ignoring her. But then…

BANG 

Poor door!

"Stay open you, you _bitch_. Lovely door. _Fucking asshole_!" Fred said trying to keep himself from swearing but he didn't notice his little 5-year-old daughter looking up at him, listen to every word.

"Ouch, crystal, what did you kick me for?"

"No swearing!"

Ding Dong 

"I'll get it, it's probably my lovely wife and big nick!" Ron insisted as he reached for the door and found his lovely wife, Cho, and his, big but no so big, son standing there.

"Come in sexy" Ron said while giving her a kiss on the lips.

"Yuck adult stuff move fatbums, coming though!" Nick said pushing Fred and George out the way.

"Hello Cho and thing, little thing that just pushed pasted us!"

"Back off you two, don't you both have wives to go to? Fred you have Hermione and George you have Angelina." Cho said pushing past them.

Later when everyone was sat down talking waiting for Harry and Ginny, well the children weren't there they were out side running around everywhere, well it least they weren't inside breaking everything!

Ding Dong 

"I'll get it you lazy fatbums!" nick insisted

"Daddy it's chav and chav, no wait its chav and Ginny, no it's gay and Ginny!" Nick yelled, staring at Ginny.

"Yay! I'm gay, I'm happy!" Harry screamed walking though the door.

"Everyone Uncle Harry's gay or he's mental! Which ever one he's weird!" Nick said raising an eyebrow.

"Don't we know it!" Hermione laughed under her breath.

"How old are you nick?" Ginny asked

"I'm 6, and you look 20. That's only…" He stop and start counting his finger, then finished his sentence "14 years apart." Then gave a big smile and raising his red cheeks at the same time!

Ginny laughed, "Why thank you. But it would be 18 years apart because I'm not 20 I'm really 24 year old."

"Stop flirting boy, get in! Come in sis." Ron said

" Whatever! Fatbum."

" Would every single fatbum come to the seating area!" Nick demanded.

Fred and Goerge smirked. Fred started the question. " So that means your…" and Goerge finished it "… a Fatbum too!"

" Am not!"

" Are to!" The twins said together.

" Am to! I mean am not!" The Nick walked closer to them and kicked them both. "Fatbums."

"Cho could you please … control you're child." They both said smiling at her, trying to act like their knee didn't hurt. But she just looks away and laughed

By this time Nick was out side with the other kids playing games and pulling faces at the adults.

"Roxie, Riley come on in, your uncle Harry has something to say." Angelina called her two 7-year-old daughters.

"Crystal, Luke …"

"Skywalker I am your father!" Harry interrupted.

"Rose come in please." Hermione finished and gave Harry the evil eye!

Then there was one.

" Nicky my little baby come here." Cho said as he run in and leaped on his dads lap.

"Hi daddy. Is Harry really Luke's father?"

"No darling Harry is just joking."

"Good because that would be wrong Harry and Hermione!"

Ron smirked and looked to Hermione who was also smirking. It all went silent for a few minutes and all eyes were on Harry and Ginny. Harry got up and walked over to Ginny held her hands and knelt down on one knee.

"Ginny I love you so,

Your no longer that… hose.

You'd never guess what I saw,

Nothing better than my… warts.

You used to make me itch.

That because you're a… bee!

There's nothing better than your sight.

When I see you everything goes bright.

You're just like a white flower,

Pure prettiness with power!

You're just my cup of tea.

Will you marry me honey?"

He had a white gold ring with a diamond on the top, not a big diamond but a small one either. The ring was in a pure white box, with no marks or anything on it.

Everyone glanced at Ginny in shock.

" I…I don't know what to say. Yes I will marry you!"

" And the Fatbums live happily ever after. The end!" Nick said laughing while everyone else past the tissues around the room.


End file.
